Helicopter Mom

In today’s times mothers think that if her child is not breastfed he/she will not form a bond with the child or the child will love the mother less. This is a major concern for a first time mother and this is the start of all the problems. These attachment issues or insecurity lead to problems like:

1. Separation anxiety for the mother and the child

2. Insecurities about the child

3. Trust issues with other members of the family

4. Exhausting herself because she does all the work

5. Health issues i.e mental and physical

6. Always on the edge and worried about something or the other

‘Helicopter mom’ is the word used these days for mothers who can’t let their children be on their own even for a minute. This sort of behavior can cause a lot of problems for the mother and the child. The insecurities of the mother is passed on to the child unknowingly. Mothers say they are just trying to be cautious and are just being attentive but children are like sponge, they will learn what they see. Children need their space and time to grow and adapt to things. Hovering is not going to help them in any way. They will never learn to decide or speak or fight for themselves.

Most of the time it is the mother who does all the fighting for the child which doesn’t help him or her. Mother has to be protective but they also have to let their kids fight their own battles and not get involved unless necessary. Kids need a push sometimes to deal with things that are unpleasant. By doing that you are actually helping the child grow and understand that life is not easy and he/she will not have things easily.

All of the above is a problem because a mother has attachment issues and can’t deal with it. She can’t do everything by herself for the baby. It is an understandable thing that she wants things to be perfect in every aspect for her child, being a mom myself I can understand the feeling. A working mother will exhaust herself if she doesn’t trust people around her for this.

Once the child is of an age where he understands that my mother is the person who does everything for me, it will be difficult for the others to get the task done with the mother. The child will refuse to do any task with some other member of the family but the mother. This will put the mother in a big problem. Being torn in between work and the child her life will suffer.

With my experience as a mother, I would say that make your child independent from an early age. Divide the chores amongst the family members around you so that you have some time to yourself. And for people who do not have an extended family who could help her, she will have to depend on her partner to help her out.

The most important part of in all this is the mental state of a mother. She has to stop over thinking and see things practically.