Separation Anxiety

What is separation anxiety?

According to google - anxiety provoked in a young child by separation or the threat of separation from his/her mother or main carer.

We all call ourselves millennial or gen-z generation who likes maintaining balance between personal and professional life. We have been taught by our parents to make something of ourselves and not just sit around and for most of us we have done what our parents wanted, a new problem with the next generation has risen "Separation Anxiety".

Most of us never faced this because our parents were always around and helped us with many things, but with the world changing and women empowerment taking its place in the world we are seeing more of separation anxiety cases.

Mothers instincts are to always protect the child and be there every time the child needs her, with the mothers working these days it has become extremely difficult to be around. Women across the globe have become career oriented and want an equal position as men and they have been successful in doing so but this has its repercussions. I am not saying women are born to take care of the family only but she is the most important part of the family chain.

Separation anxiety now a days are not only seen in children but in parents as well. Kids are scared that parents will leave and not seeing them for a long period of time, parents are scared that the kids will not be looked after properly once they leave the house etc.

There are too many factors working here - environmental as well as biological. I still remember my son's reaction when I was leaving for office. He wouldn't stop crying and had to be distracted and I also remember my reaction to his crying - of course I was in tears as well. What helped was my MIL making my son understand that mamma will be back in sometime and he should wait for her.

There are a few basic symptoms of separation anxiety:

• Refusing to sleep alone

• Repeated nightmares

• Refusing to go to school

• Fearful and reluctant to be alone

• Being very clingy, even when at home

• Panic or temper tantrums at times

Dealing with toddlers is a little easy since they get distracted fast and easily diverted. Separation anxiety needs to be dealt with at an early stage. If the child sees the parents going out, they know that after a few hours they will return. The earlier you deal with it, the better it gets with time.

I started leaving my son for 2 hours alone with my family members at a very early stage, say 8 months. That is when he started realizing that his parents won't be missing for a long time and will be back soon. Gradually I started increasing the time and when I rejoined my office full time, he was happily saying bye and waving his hand and giving flying kisses. This was the perfect reaction. I was happy knowing that he was okay with me leaving.

My advice to all the mothers is that start this at an early age so that it becomes easier for both. I can understand the concerns but you will have to start some day as children can sense your insecurities and may get spooked. Talk to your partner about it so that he can help you out when required.